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What Goes Around Comes Around!

February 12, 2010  |  Men's Coaching Blog

Why do some men wonder why their companions whom they pay large sums of money to give them the times of their lives don’t deliver?  I invite you, especially if you are one of these men, to discover the answers.

There will always be men who will go into moments of intimacy with a giving attitude and there’ll always be ones who will go into them with a taking attitude.  The men with the taking attitude will operate under the mantra “I’m paying, you entertain me.”   But how do they expect to be given the genuine connection, warmth, and smile they crave if they’re not prepared to give the same? People are very receptive to nonverbal communication. If you convey a positive message through your words but a negative or hesitant one with the rest of your physiology, the physiology will always be the message another person will accept as true.  You would as well if you were to be on the receiving end of something similar.  So how does your communication contribute to the quality of your intimate moments?

The answer is: very much!  If someone is telling us BS, we know just like we know if someone’s telling us the truth. Every time we communicate we release subtle energies into the ether.  So be careful about what energy you eminate, because you’ll be getting the same back.  Examples of this are: if you’re sitting in a bar / pub and having a good chat with another person, you know if the conversation is “landing” well with your partner – and you also know when you have an inflexible communicator!  How do you know?  Intuitively – from your partner’s nonverbal [first, and then verbal] responses.  So if you’re planning to sail through your intimate moments with the attitude of “I’m paying, therefore I just lie here”, your partner will get the message   and most likely get put off and end up acting the same or similarly.

The principle is simple, yet there’re many [mostly generally unhappy] individuals who don’t grasp it.  Why are they generally unhappy?  Because they come across this indifferent attitude from people around them.  But with the most insidious appendix = not realizing that they’re its source!  Taking is nice, but giving is nicer.  If we take all the time, we end up with heaps of stuff, yet emptiness at heart, because the heaped-up material will lose its value almost as soon as we’ve got it and we’ll start searching for the next taking…  But we’ll never run away from the emptiness at heart.  The only way to break the circle and get filled up is by giving some of ourselves to others.

If you do something nice, you’ll naturally feel more loving toward the world around you.  The virtuous circle will begin – others will start accepting and loving you too, conversations and nonverbal [even intimate] communications will start flowing and happiness will start flooding your body and heart.  And you’ll never have a dull encounter again!
So, start giving – and you’ll start receiving!  And if you’re feeling shaky, grab the supportive hand of coaching!

 


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