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Elite High Profile Companion Courtesan London – Toronto – International

Female Independent Elite Companion London – Toronto – International

Tried or Trying to Break Bad Habits?

November 1, 2013  |  Coaching for Men

To break bad habits is not merely a matter of knowledge or skill.  If it was, then all information campaigns on how to improve health would have made illnesses a thing of the past.  We would all be slim and rich and teenage girls would not get pregnant.  Sadly, many people do not create lasting changes and repeat their failures again and again.Why? How?

Have you ever tried to break bad habits?

The key to creating and maintaining behavioral change is in getting and staying motivated.  Some people make lifestyle changes that last a few weeks at best.  The attendance figures at health clubs in January show you the people who begin very motivated and lose the passion.  Other people wish that they could do something, but never work up the motivation to begin.  The title of comedian Totie Fields’ book I Think I’ll Start on Monday: The official 8 1/2oz Mashed Potato Diet sums it up.  She also said: “I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks”.

Can crisis motivate us to change?

Conventional theory suggests that the highest potential for change is in crisis.  This seems logical, since nothing is normal during a crisis and the abnormality is the opportunity to make important decisions about the future.  People often try to make radical shifts when they face financial or other disasters.  But if crisis really is the highest potential time for change, then why do 90% of coronary bypass patients not make long-term changes to their behaviour after surgery?

Because breaking habits requires both short-term and long-term motivation strategies.

When a crisis triggers someone to want to do something differently, it can be effective for the short term.  This is motivation away from something (bad)because the person is motivated to move away from a situation they do not want.  An example: a person doesn’t like himself in the mirror, so decides to get slim.  Motivation away from can get us started.  The problem is that it loses power once we are on the way. How can we stay on track after the away from motivation has waned?  In 2 ways:  1. to constantly remind ourselves that we don’t want to be unhealthy or whatever.  This takes a lot of work and the effects of maintaining a state of fear or disgust are unhealthy.  2. to add motivation toward something good.

Also bear in mind that…

Since motivation away from the bad is effective for short periods and most changes to behaviours and habits take longer, we need a mechanism to maintain motivation.  We can do this when we have a goal that we strongly want to achieve to replace the problem which we want to avoid.  This goal represents motivation toward something good.  The motivation away from something bad can get us started and gives us a push.  The motivation toward something good draws us closer to what we want.

This way we get the benefit of the push and the pull.  The problem with having only motivation toward something good is that if we are beginning far from our goal, starting is demotivating.  If our goal is to run a marathon and we get out of breath running for a bus, it is easier to put off running.  If we have motivation only toward something good with nothing to kick us into action, we may procrastinate.

Habits are like water running downhill. 

Motivation away from x and toward y is not always enough.  Habits can be hard to kill.  They are like water running downhill – it takes no effort to maintain a habit.  Habits are rituals that we perform without thinking and are psychologically committed to.  Sometimes they are formulas of stimulus-response.  Sit in front of the TV – feel hungry – get food…  A good system is easier to follow.  If you want something to become a habit, insert it into an existing procedure.  To remember to take vitamins put them in front of the coffee pot instead of hiding them in the cupboard.  Inserting the new behaviour into an existing procedure builds new commitment into what you already do.  When the new behaviour is part of a procedure that you effortlessly follow, it will reinforce and gradually become like water running downhill.

What you see is what you get.

People become nonsmokers more easily if they see the state they want to move away from and the state they want to move toward.  Verbal affirmations are rarely compelling enough to trigger and maintain motivation. But when we can see both what we want and what we don’t, it becomes more real than merely telling ourselves something.  Imagine the idea of being at the right weight or level of fitness.  It’s easier to imagine when you can see yourself in your favorite outfit or effortlessly running 3 miles.

Beliefs, values, and who you are contribute a great deal.

If you don’t believe that it’s possible to change bad habits, no type of motivation will work.  Look for an example where you have made a significant change.  Notice that all the motivational strategies were present.  If you could do that, why could you not do the next thing?  There is only one way to find out – how important the change is to you  If it’s not often on your radar, perhaps you don’t care enough to change it. Why is changing this habit important to you?  And why is that important?  What kind of person believes that the change you want is worth pursuing?  Is this the kind of person you want to be?  How are you already like this?

When you have identified the beliefs, values, and identity that will enable you to imagine that this change is really possible, hold them in your heart and allow them to spread throughout your physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual self.  Repeat this daily as part of your rituals until it feels natural.

Miracle cures are not motivation. 

Real change of behaviour is possible when you have the strategies to start and maintain motivation, when you see what you want, have inserted the new behaviour into a ritual, believe that the new behaviour is possible, value it, and think of yourself as a person who does it.  There’s no wonder why miracle cures don’t last!

This will help you break old and build new habits

Do you have a project for a change of behaviour that is important to you?  Check whether you have all the motivational triggers in place.

Away from: I do not want ____________________________________.

Toward: what I want instead is ________________________________.

Negative consequences: if I don’t succeed, what will happen that I don’t want? _____________________________________________________.

Positive consequences: when I succeed, what will happen that I want?


I see/imagine an example of each of the above.

I have inserted this new habit into this procedure that I do naturally.


And I am regularly accountable to _______________ for completing my goal.

I believe that it is possible to do this because ______________________________________.

I succeeded at something like this when I ___________________________.

This is important to me because ________________________________.

The kind of person who does this is ______________________________.

I am that kind of person because ________________________________.

And if you feel that you’ll more likely break bad habits with help,

I’m not a men’s coach for nothing!  I’m always here to help you break bad habits in any aspect of life.

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