Coaching for men who use adult services Toronto – London UK - international
Many older professional men who are at the self-actualisation stage of life seek help from psychologists with the stress and trauma endured over long high-pressure careers, personal trainers and dieticians to fend off the aging process and marks from the pressures of the careers, sports coaches to maximise satisfaction from recreation, and adult services to return long lost connection, spark, desire, and intimacy into life. All these professionals cost money.
Coaching offers men all this and more
If you add all that, you will get a far higher sum than what Kay-Lauren charges. The painful reality is that none of these professionals fix the real problems that they are meant to fix. Psychologists offer generic advice, but not solutions. Personal trainers motivate, but do not correctly address a man’s lack of motivation. Dieticians also offer generic advice [usually according to governmental guidelines], even when the diet should be tailored to every individual. (An exception are dieticians who work to the orders of doctors treating diseases or conditions. But even so, a good dietician knows that 90% of diseases and conditions are preventable exactly by good diet!) High end sports coaches address technique, while lack of specific athletic achievement is most often due to some deep mental block. To make it worse, all these professionals work in silos, so there is no holistic approach to the man’s self-actualisation.
Many men also pay for adult services [instead of coaching] because they have problems, blocks, or conflicts in their lives. They seek adult services to distract themselves from the problems and emptiness in them. Many men don’t know how to address the problems. Coaching would be the last thing on their minds. Many men don’t know what they want in and from life. They want to escape the reality and therefore keep the undeserving adult industry in business. After the millionth attempt to find pleasure they look at yet another website. They anticipate something wonderful at good value… and get bitter disappointment again. However, they’re lighter in cash, time, energy and…
…the vicious circle goes on.
Most men communicate badly, hence their problems, blocks, conflicts. And even the better communicators can certainly hardly talk about their problems to dearly loved family members or friends. Thus men often find themselves isolated with their problems. The isolation drives them to seek distractions. While there is absolutely no social stigma about men having coaching, there might be tremendous stigma – perhaps also fear and embarrassment – about a man confessing to his coach that he pays for adult services!
Coaching combines the best of both worlds for men
Kay-Lauren helps men break the vicious circle and use their time, money, and energy better. Transactional sex does not fulfill, nor raise the quality of life. KL helps men put all the pieces together in a package that heals with wisdom, love, and care for the long term. This package is holistic, far less expensive, and certainly more personal than all those services from different professionals. If a man opens himself to trusting in the process, good results will be guaranteed!
KL’s coaching specialises in neurolinguistic programming. NLP makes coaching richer, more powerful, and effective. That is because NLP shows patterns of physiology, language, thinking, and feelings that a coach without NLP training will not point out. A man will need courage, because coaching makes men cry, angry, frustrated, and opens many a can of worms… Additional value is in how a man who has coaching will train himself and others to support him in making changes. And he will never measure this value by the money he paid for coaching.
- talk to many adult service providers, but don't visit them
- start corresponding with women, and suddenly go silent for no obvious reason
- visit many adult service providers and still feel empty, unfulfilled
- are stuck in this pattern and don't know what to do about it
- find excitement in this vicious circle, but feel exhausted, unhappy, etc.
- ...men who don’t know what they want – they just want to get away from the grim reality…
- don’t know why they do this, they just do it
- and don’t care who they do it with - anyone will do
- are not good at making requests of people
- ...or not good at talking to women
- ...or don't know what they want from women, nor what to expect from experiences with women
On the level of environment:
- you can have coaching anywhere by phone, on Zoom, or WhatsApp
- wherever you want to be
- anytime across the time zones
- not having to travel to the coach will save you time, money, energy
- if you have coaching by phone or online, you won’t have the visual distractions of the coach. You can then express even the most sensitive thoughts without feeling immediately embarrassed due to the coach's physical presence
- without visual distractions you can more clearly visualize thoughts, strategies, and the discussed concepts. That will help to extract and remember the learning from them.
- what physical environments do you create for yourself and others that contribute to your frustrated state, bad habits, and lack of fulfilment?
- how can you help yourself by making sometimes simple changes to your environment?
- how does your perception of time influence what happens and will happen in your life?
- and how does your past hold control of your present and future?
...behaviour:
- you’ll find in coaching what you do that positively and negatively influences you most. And you can make changes.
- you’ll discover the benefits of the bad things that you do. If there weren’t benefits, you wouldn’t do them.
- as you learn the value of the good and bad that you do, you’ll understand how you can do more of what works and replace the benefits of the bad things with what will work in the long term.
...capability:
- capability = skill. You have repeated a skill so many times that it has become automatic. So you may not know that you do it. For example, always having money and never having money are skills.
- capabilities answer the question how?. How do you keep doing things that keep you unhealthy, unfulfilled, frustrated, unhappy?
- how can you communicate with yourself and others better through language?
...beliefs and values
- what you believe you will achieve. And what you believe directs what you do. So what do you believe? Why?
- how do your beliefs keep you stuck?
- how could you reevaluate and learn from your beliefs?
- and how could you honour and learn from past beliefs?
- why do you do what and how you do?
- what do you value?
- what are your top three values?
- why do you value those values?
...identity:
- identity is who you are.
- so who are you at this stage of life?
- who do you (not) want to be?
- who do you want to surround yourself by?
- and who drains your energy? Whom would you like to get rid of from life?
- who would you like to be in 20 years? How will you get there? Will you?
- and who will you become if you shed the bad habits you had for years and become a new person?
…and the grand scheme of life...
- how will others see and respect you when you start making changes?
- will you have to make major changes in your environment, behaviour, capabilities, beliefs, values, and identity?
- what will be the price of those changes?
- how will all that impact your public image?
All coaching sessions cost the same as the rates listed here and start with a one-time 2-hour intake session.
The main package: 16 weekly sessions of 30 minutes
....extendable for 3, 6, 9, or 12 months to.....
Long-term package 1: 4 weekly sessions of 30 minutes
Long-term package 2: 2 sessions of 30 minutes per month
Kay-Lauren accepts all fees in advance in any of the listed currencies by cash or PayPal. Fees for the main package of 16 sessions can be divided into blocks of sessions. The fee for all 16 sessions does not have to be paid in one sum in advance.
- Beliefs: Pathways to Health & Wellbeing - R. Dilts, T. Hallbom, S. Smith
- NLP & Health - I. McDermott & J. O'Connor
- NLP & Relationships - R. Prior & J. O'Connor
- The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman
- The Art of Systems Thinking - J. O'Connor & I. McDermott
- The NLP Coach - I. McDermott & W. Jago
- Your Inner Coach - I. McDermott & W. Jago