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Over the years in the industry I’ve collected enough evidence that this industry is rife with unhappy people who seek [often illegal and/or health-threatening] services covered under this industry’s umbrella to distract themselves from a deep void inside them. The even more insidious case is when people are not aware of this and unknowingly keep these often dodgy service providers in business(!) as a matter of habit or “lifestyle component”, but without a reason they can clearly define. So, after the millionth failed attempt to find a soulmate they look at yet another website in hope that this person won’t rip them off and will provide the experience of their longstanding dreams, and at good value for money… until they face the bitterly disappointing reality yet again – by which time they’re lighter of their cash, time, and NRG and…

…the vicious circle goes on.  So, living up to my light-bringing name, I decided to offer the experience from my privileged role as a personal development professional to help these individuals realize that the abovementioned vicious circle can be broken - with lasting happier effects for future.

The best of both worlds?  One fact is that these people can hardly talk about these things to their – often dearly loved – wives / partners and thus find themselves isolated with their unhappiness which only aggravates the problems and draws them back into the vicious circle. While there’s absolutely no social stigma about a man taking up coaching, there would be tremendous stigma – if not fear and embarrassment – about this man confessing in the course of his sessions that he has been visiting adult service providers!

So here am I – reaping the best experience from a combination of both roles. And I see no reason why I couldn’t bring light into those voids inside those voided individuals and without that stigma!  My personal coaching specialisation is in the field of Neuro-Linguistic Programming [NLP] which makes the coaching process even more powerful and effective, because NLP gives me the tools to uncover patterns of physiology, language, thinking, and emotional onsets that a coach without the NLP training would not see and feed back on in the best service to the client.

Coaching will benefit you if…
  • you  phone around aimlessly, talk to many adult service providers, yet never get anywhere
  • you click around the net, see pretty women, contact them, start corresponding, and then break the thread for no obvious reason
  • you visit one adult service provider after another, yet feel the same letdown every time
  • you painfully realize you’re stuck in this pattern, yet don't know what to do about it
  • you find excitement in this vicious circle, yet feel exhausted, unhappy, and drained
  • you don’t know what you want – you just want someone right here, right now… to get away from the grim reality…
  • you don’t know why you do all this, you just do it
  • you don’t care who it is, as long as it is…
  • you know that you're not good at making requests of people
  • you know that you're not good at talking to women
  • you don't know what you want from a woman, nor what you expect from an experience with a woman
How will coaching help you?

ON THE LEVEL OF ENVIRONMENT:

  • you can have coaching anywhere, by phone or Skype
  • you can have coaching anytime during the day or night, I’m always prepared to be flexible as long as the times are agreed well in advance
  • you will save time, money, and NRG by not having to travel to me
  • you can have coaching in the comfort of your home, office, or wherever you wish to be
  • if you have coaching by phone or Skype, you won’t have the visual distractions of what I look like, am wearing, etc. This way you can express even the most sensitive of thoughts without the feeling of immediate predicament caused by my physical presence in the room
  • without visual distractions you can more clearly visualize your own thoughts and the concepts we go through in the session, which will enable you to remember them and extract the learning from them
  • what physical environments are you creating for yourself and others that contribute to your depressed state, bad habits, and lack of joy in life without you being aware of this?
  • how can you help yourself by making sometimes very simple changes to your physical environment?
  • how does time and your perception of it influence what’s going on in your life at present and what will be going on in your life in future?
  • how does your past hold control of your presence – and future?
ON THE LEVEL OF BEHAVIOR
  • during coaching you’ll discover what you do that influences you most [both positively and negatively] and you will finally be at choice to keep or ditch them
  • you’ll discover the benefits of your negative behaviors. If there weren’t any benefits to them, you wouldn’t be doing them. But there’s something that keeps them in place, no matter how much you may hate yourself for doing them [smoking, drinking, depressing yourself etc.]
  • as you learn the value of your positive and negative behaviors, you’ll better understand how you can keep reinforcing the positive [=do more of what works for you] in future and replace the benefits of the negative behaviors with ones that give you healthier / happier long-term prospects
ON THE LEVEL OF CAPABILITY
  • capability = skill. A skill is a behavior that you’ve repeated so many times in your life that it has become automatic and you may not be aware of doing it. For example, managing money well is as much a skill as is constantly being in debt.
  • uncovering capabilities answers the question “how?”. So how do you keep yourself in patterns of behaviors that keep you unhealthy, depressed, joyless, frustrated, and unhappy?
  • how can you help yourself by being more aware of the language you use to communicate with others AND YOURSELF?
ON THE LEVEL OF BELIEFS AND VALUES
  • what you believe, you will achieve. And what you believe directs what you do. So what do you believe? Why?
  • how do your current beliefs keep you stuck in the ways you’re in now?
  • how could you reevaluate your current beliefs and take learning from them?
  • how could you learn from your past beliefs that are no longer valid now – and honor them?
  • the realm of beliefs and values answers the question “why?”
  • what do you value in your life right now?
  • what are your top three values?
  • why do you value exactly that which you do?
ON THE LEVEL OF IDENTITY
  • identity is who you are. This realm answers the question “who?”
  • so who are you at this stage of your life?
  • who do you want to be?
  • who are the people you want to surround yourself with in future?
  • who are the people who drain your energy and whom you’d like to get rid of from your life?
  • who would you like to be in 40 years from now? How will you get there? Will you?
  • and who will you be if you do change for the better? Who will you become if and when you shed the bad habits you had for years and suddenly become this new person?
AND BEYOND IDENTITY… HOW DOES EVERYTHING FIT INTO THE GRAND SCHEME OF YOUR LIFE?
  • how will others perceive and respect you when you start going through changes?
  • will you have to undergo major changes in your environment, behaviors, capabilities, beliefs and values, and identity?
  • what will be the price for these changes?
  • how will your public image be impacted?
How much does coaching cost?

Here's HOW IT WORKS:

All coaching engagements start with a one-time 2 hour intake session. Regardless of the length of working with me, a client will only need one intake session. 


Here's HOW MUCH IT COSTS:
a one-time  INTAKE SESSION of 2 hours
GBP£320
CAD$520
USD$530
EUR€370

STARTUP PACKAGE:  6 weekly sessions of 30 minutes

GBP£480

CAD$780

USD$790

EUR€560

.....xtendable to.....

MONTHLY PACKAGE OPTION 1:  Four sessions of 30 minutes per month

GBP£320

CAD$520

USD$530

EUR€370

MONTHLY PACKAGE OPTION 2: Two sessions of 30 minutes per month

GBP£160

CND$260

USD$270

EUR€190

All fees will be accepted in any of the aforementioned currencies and must be paid in advance by cash or PayPal.

Read about coaching and NLP

 

Beliefs: Pathways to Health & Wellbeing - R. Dilts, T. Hallbom, S. Smith
NLP & Health - I. McDermott & J. O'Connor
NLP & Relationships - I. McDermott & J. O'Connor
The 5 Love Languages - Gary Chapman
The Art of Systems Thinking - J. O'Connor & I. McDermott
The NLP Coach - I. McDermott & W. Jago
Your Inner Coach - I. McDermott & W. Jago

All the above and more is within the value of coaching – if you have the courage to go on this journey.  Courage you will need, because you may find things that may make you cry, angry, frustrated [that, perhaps, you wasted so many years of life before you learned x, y, z], and open many a can of worms…   Additional value, which cannot be measured by the money you pay for the coaching sessions, will be in how you’ll start to train yourself and your environment to support you on the journey of changes for the better.

 

What will an NLP coach give you that a traditional psychologist won’t?  An NLP coach will give you specific howtos of things instead of generic theories. Until the mid 1970s the field of psychology was prevalently preoccupied with why things happen. Today a traditional psychologist will still give you the why of things, plus generic, cover-all, or at least cover-as-much-as-possible, recommendations and perhaps a few exercises to do at home.  Since NLP brought the science of how things happen into the field of psychology, an NLP coach will help you find the reasons why you keep stuck in the old ways AND help you give yourself strategies how to deal with things to improve or change them.  NLP adds the how to your life, and that’s the greatest value you receive, because people often know all the theory of why it’d be good to stop smoking, drink less, exercise regularly, sleep more, and whatever else, but they don’t know how to start doing those things. And if one doesn’t know how to do something, he won’t do it.
Feel free to get some coaching and inspiration from my blog.